So yesterday was NOT a good day in the Zimmer household. Brad was gone for three days, which is normally just fine, but for some reason, this week was just an "off" week. Ya, I'm pretty sure I'm not the only Mom who has had this. Right? I hope?
I have three beautiful, intelligent GOOD kids. I do. I know that. But for some reason, my 4 year old enjoys wreaking havoc on me. I really haven't figured out why yet. When I do I will let you know. I think yesterday was the culmination of the whole week and it just broke me down. We went out for supper with my husbands family to celebrate his parents 45th wedding anniversary. My nephew (who is the same age as Miss A) was also there, and it literally broke my heart to see how much his mother was enjoying him and laughing at the things he was saying.
Afterwards we got in the van and I just broke down. I WANT to enjoy Alayna, but right now she is making it so hard for me, and it makes me feel absolutely horrible. So after the supper, I had to suck it up for a while as we went to his parents for cake. I'm sure many of you have had that experience of choking back the tears while putting a nice fake smile on your face.
After we got home, I lost it. I just want to see her in the mornings and be excited to see her, not dread it because the instant she wakes up she starts whining for something to eat. And then when I don't have what she wants to eat, she throws a tantrum. I prayed last night that God could just give me one whole day of her in a good mood so I could see what a great kid she really is. I know it's in her, for everyone else, she is great.
I see all of these blog posts about how incredible their kids are, and the funny things they do, and it really tears me up. WHY does she have to be so difficult for me? She has made me question myself as a parent, and whether or not I even WANT to be home anymore. It just sucks because I really do love being home, and as stressful as daycare is sometimes, I DO enjoy it. We had fun creating things this week, and learning. But I also don't want to feel like running away by the time Friday rolls around, ya know?
So, I guess the point of this post is to see if there are others out there dealing with a difficult child, what your thoughts are/tips you have, etc.
I am just one tired mama....