Rachel #18

Today this beautiful girl turned 18. I still don't think that has set in.  I have a child who is an ADULT.   It's weird ya'll.  

I don't:

                                 A.  Feel like I'm old enough to have an 18 year old

                                 B.  Feel mature enough to have an 18 year old, HA!

and

                                 C.  Believe 18 years has flown by this fast.  

I literally remember all the feels bringing her home from the hospital.  For some reason, growing up I always thought I would never be able to have kids.  It was something I wanted SO bad, but just though it would never happen to me.

Brad and I started trying to have a baby the summer of 1999.  In the 3 months we were trying, 4 of my close friends got pregnant.  It was devastating.  In September I told Brad I wanted to quit trying.  Mentally I was so overwhelmed and borderline depressed.  Now I know that MANY people try for much longer than that without success, but having that many close friends succeed and us not, it was too much for me.

We decided to take a break from trying and waited until the next summer to start up again.  I remember being a day late and decided to take a test.  It was positive.  I thought I was going to pass out.  I went and bought 2 more tests, they were both positive.  I decided to call the doctor and go in for a blood test which was (obviously) positive!  I was elated.  I called Brad at work to tell him, ha!  He came home with a dozen roses and we promptly told our parents.  This girl was NOT waiting, even if something happened, I just wanted everyone to know.

Nine months later this beauty joined our family.

Life has never been the same.  She is the sassiest, spunkiest, most outspoken loyal girl.  She perfected the eye roll and will fight for what she wants (I know this will be useful in the future, but hot damn!).  But she is also a very caring, loving person who would give the shirt off her back for you.

I love her spirit, and I pray everyday that God will use her for His glory.  I know that big things are coming for her and I'm so excited to watch that happen.

She loves her sisters fiercely.  It has been so fun to watch their relationship develop over the years. 

I know everyone said having a child is like ripping your heart out and watching it walk away.  I get that now.  I have learned to let go some, and let her make her own decisions (and mistakes).  Every morning I pray over my girls.  I pray for health, safety, and that the Holy Spirit will guide them through their day. That's all I can do.

Happy, happy birthday, my sweet first baby.  I cannot wait to see the amazing life that awaits you!